Sky TV Ireland – Customer Service Nightmares

Sky Ireland are a bunch of idiots – except for this one girl

Real People or Dumb Voice recognition software?

Near the end of 2011, my house mate and I decided to take the plunge and ditch UPC’s TV service – not only is the remote control really annoying, but the slow channel changes and annoyingly 1980’s display had pushed us over the edge.

So, only a week or two after our decision was made, the doorbell rings – it’s a beautiful Canadian girl, whose name eludes me for now (something fancy), selling Sky! “Oh good heavens, this is perfect – it’s written in the stars” we both thought, before quickly inviting her inside and offering her endless cups of tea. She stayed for ages, which was great, because she was wearing a skirt which was too short really, certainly for door to door sales. I’d say she hit target every month though, easily. Even if we’d never heard of Sky, we’d have bought it that day.

Check out the Total Mind Blowing Definition: OMFG! –

Sky HD Menu

So, with the forms filled in and the conversation with “SKY HQ” out of the way, we waited patiently for our service to arrive, which it did. On time, installed, ready to go. Perfect.


The second month of our subscription began without incident, and the bill was due to be paid on the 15th, which is also the date on which both my housemate (the allocated bill-payer for Sky) and myself get paid.
However, on the 14th, we got cut off.

What???? We were both shocked. Why can’t we watch midweek football in HD? Did we do something wrong? Did we give incorrect details?


Sky tried to get their funds too early.

Despite a full and open discussion at the time of registration regarding payment dates, and an agreement (suggested by the operator in Cork) to claim the funds a day or two AFTER the 15th, just to be safe, these idiots still sent their little bank-robot, or whatever it is, into the account to get funds which weren’t there. And, instead of trying again in a few days, when there would have certainly been funds there, they just cut us off.

Two months into our service.

Without contacting us.


Is this the service of the nation’s number one TV provider? Unfortunately, yes it is.

Eventually, my housemate rang, paid the bill, and all we lost was a week of TV. Nothing major, no damage done. Or so you would think……

Two months later, I shit you not, the same deal – this time on the 26th, when I can guarantee there were probably no funds available due to the excesses of modern living, we get cut off again. How could this happen? We explained it to them on at least two occasions, and when talking to them two months ago, they were told AGAIN not to go for funds before the 15th?

This time, we had to wait until the 15th of the following month to get reconnected. Again, no call from Sky, no emails, no pretty Canadian lady calling at our door on a wet, windy evening, desperate for shelter and tea and some perving.

Absolutely shocking decision making, customer service and implementation of online banking technology from Sky. Shame on you. Are those simple orders too tricky for your human staff to process? Or shall we blame whatever hack of a payments system you employ, which clearly has a mind and personality of its own, and a desire for mischief?

What is even more depressing is the fact we never considered an alternative. Are there alternatives on this island? Unless you have the fastest broadband connection ever seen in Ireland, I’m afraid not. UPC are shit. Dodgy football streaming sites are also shit, but at least they’re free.

We now have our Sky HD back, and it is fantastic, but I do fear that next time the 15th falls on a weekend, we’ll be cut off again. And next time, I’ll be the one calling their so-called “customer service”. I might even record that call and pop it up here for a laugh – I can be horrible, pretentious and condescending when I need to be. Sky record the calls, so why can’t I?

Fuck you Sky. But thanks for HD football.


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  4. Philippa McPhillips

    What has happened to the subtitles on “Other Channels”? This has only happened since last week when Sky changed its format.
    If we cannot get subtitles we will go to UPC

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