AIB Internet Banking – A Symphony of Riddles

Allied Irish Banks, p.l.c.

Re: Internet/Phone Banking

To Who-ever it may concern,

I recently have had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with both AIB Phone Banking & AIB Internet Banking. Both matrix type facilities were unable to perform simple tasks without a plethora of cards, codes and magic tricks, much of which I had with me, but never the one designated for a specific task. One would suspect even Inspector Gadget would not be equipped well enough to deal with such intricate processes.

As per your website, “Internet Banking is a secure and easy way to manage your money online”.

AIB Phone Banking – “This service offers customers the flexibility to conduct their banking transactions over the phone day or night” including benefits such as “Transfer money between accounts”.

Expected behaviour somehow fails to live up to the reality of the situation.

The simple tasks I wished to complete were:

1. Change of Address
2. Order a new Laser Card
3. Request IBAN code (to have transfer from a foreign bank account into my AIB account)

I was on AIB internet banking and was astonished to find that one cannot order a new Laser Card OR change address in this facility.

I decided then to call AIB Phone Banking where I was unable to change my address without my code card. Having my old address details, my Log in ID, my PIN code, my bank details and my Laser & Credit Cards at the ready simply was not enough. Oceans Eleven lead by Paul Daniels wouldn’t have got through this vault. The following day I contacted AIB with my code card and changed my address. I was now able to order a new Laser Card and have it posted to my new address. Disaster averted. Just.

Well if you thought my troubles were over, you jumped the gun. They were only just beginning.

Yesterday I requested an IBAN code, from a friendly and pleasant man by the name of Eoghan, to have money transferred into my AIB Bank account. One would imagine in this day and age, a recession mind you, after the greedy “fat cat” bankers employed strategies to merely achieve a bankrupted state, that getting money into AIB might not be so difficult. Quite the contrary I needn’t tell you. No surprise here to hear that full Bank Details, Code Card, Log in ID & PIN Code wouldn’t get money into AIB. Maybe if one had tried to rattle the Fianna Fáil coppers in AIB’s greasy till before the Olltoghcháin one would have experienced a resounding success. Or maybe one should request their transfer via IMF.

I returned to AIB Phone Banking today and spoke with Mark. A man like myself, on the front line, struggling through this utter bureaucracy. I was armed to the teeth with my Laser Card, in the hope that the day might come, before I dance a fine jig between heaven and hell, that a process as simple as lodging money can be realised.

I have since forwarded the cryptic IBAN code over the sea, contempt with myself, finally delivering the holy grail of the banking world.

On a parting note I am sure much of your business is conducted through modern technological mediums. I thought it wise to contact you through the postal service. One simply needs a stamp to deliver on requirements. One need not always look to the future to find answers unhidden in the past.

Thank you and kind regards,

Tiarnán O’Rourke

Journalistic integrity dictates this must be added : AIB, upon reading this letter, called Mr O’Rourke for a full and lengthy chat regarding the online and phone systems. In fact, the branch manager himself called. Fair play, of sorts.

Do we need “God”?


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  3. Dear Sal, I’m 30 years old and working full time, the IT irdtsuny. Career wise man does not need to look at everything they see, mathematical or finance, but I just admire that in a short lecture in a fun way, and laymans terms. I could watch a video on time and not get tired Learning is never tedious, especially with teachers like you .. Ask The Finance Section, can you pls make a video Budgeting and Forecasting process of large organizations?

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