This Bloody CountryThese things are always funny/stupid.
But funny.
David Beckhamster
Nikica Jellyfish
Catka
Fil-Hippo Inzaghi
Kevin Prince-Boateng
Lee Cattermole
Ryan Giggs – Lying Piggs
Mark Robins
Paul Shoales
Gerbil Cisse
If this is a genuine girl looking to reach out to a far away country to better her life, or at least attempt to – then I apologise for taking the piss so strongly.
However, I don’t believe it is, so whatevs.
On Wed 01/02/12 1:05 PM , “Yuliya” a.arancio@ritex.it sent:
Hi my darling, dear friend.
How are you?
Writes to you beautiful, blond, brought up. Decent and very lovely girl.
My name is – Yuliya. To me of 29 years.
I from Russia. I want to find the present and unique love.
I already burned about love. I hope it won’t repeat any more.
I want to get acquainted with you more close. Read More
Near the end of 2011, my house mate and I decided to take the plunge and ditch UPC’s TV service – not only is the remote control really annoying, but the slow channel changes and annoyingly 1980′s display had pushed us over the edge.
So, only a week or two after our decision was made, the doorbell rings – it’s a beautiful Canadian girl, whose name eludes my for now (something fancy), selling Sky! “Oh good heavens, this is perfect – it’s written in the stars” we both thought, before quickly inviting her inside and offering her endless cups of tea. She stayed for ages, which was great, because she was wearing a skirt which was too short really, certainly for door to door sales. I’d say she hit target every month though, easily. Even if we’d never heard of Sky, we’d have bought it that day.
Check out the Total Mind Blowing Definition: OMFG! –
So, with the forms filled in and the conversation with “SKY HQ” out of the way, we waited patiently for our service to arrive, which it did. On time, installed, ready to go. Perfect.
Until…….
The second month of our subscription began without incident, and the bill was due to be paid on the 15th, which is also the date on which both my housemate (the allocated billpayer for Sky) and myself get paid.
However, on the 14th, we got cut off.
What???? We were both shocked. Why can’t we watch midweek football in HD? Did we do something wrong? Did we give incorrect details?
No.
Sky tried to get their funds too early.
Despite a full and open discussion at the time of registration regarding payment dates, and an agreement (suggested by the operator in Cork) to claim the funds a day or two AFTER the 15th, just to be safe, these idiots still sent their little bank-robot, or whatever it is, into the account to get funds which weren’t there. And, instead of trying again in a few days, when there would have certainly been funds there, they just cut us off.
Two months into our service.
Without contacting us.
Classy.
Is this the service of the nation’s number one TV provider? Unfortunately, yes it is.
Eventually, my housemate rang, paid the bill, and all we lost was a week of TV. Nothing major, no damage done. Or so you would think……
Two months later, I shit you not, the same deal – this time on the 26th, when I can guarantee there were probably no funds available due to the excesses of modern living, we get cut off again. How could this happen? We explained it to them on at least two occasions, and when talking to them two months ago, they were told AGAIN not to go for funds before the 15th?
This time, we had to wait until the 15th of the following month to get reconnected. Again, no call from Sky, no emails, no pretty Canadian lady calling at our door on a wet, windy evening, desperate for shelter and tea and some perving.
Absolutely shocking decision making, customer service and implementation of online banking technology from Sky. Shame on you. Are those simple orders too tricky for your human staff to process? Or shall we blame whatever hack of a payments system you employ, which clearly has a mind and personality of its own, and a desire for mischief?
What is even more depressing is the fact we never considered an alternative. Are there alternatives on this island? Unless you have the fastest broadband connection ever seen in Ireland, I’m afraid not. UPC are shit. Dodgy football streaming sites are also shit, but at least they’re free.
We now have our SKy HD back, and it is fantastic, but I do fear that next time the 15th falls on a weekend, we’ll be cut off again. And next time, I’ll be the one calling their so-called “customer service”. I might even record that call and pop it up here for a laugh – I can be horrible, pretentious and condescending when I need to be. Sky record the calls, so why can’t I?
Fuck you Sky. But thanks for HD football.
And why?
Because Iraq no longer hold a threat to US National Security, or “wealth and energy supply”, as it should be called.
Let us cast our minds (if you’re as old as I am) back to Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait in August 1990. This invasion was a direct response to Kuwait drilling into Iraqi soil, the ignorance of OPEC quotas by Kuwait, seen as “economic warfare” by Saddam, and also the long-held belief in Iraq that Kuwait was nothing more than a British invention, which to be honest, no outside nation can claim to be incorrect. History is a very long time ago.
When the Brits left the nation to its own devices in 1932, they naturally didn’t want to give up control of all things Persian-Gulfy, so this nation was “drawn up” to limit Iraq’s power in the region by way of access to the Gulf itself. Not to mention, the masses of oil available in the area, but the Brits weren’t interested in that, they’re lovely colonialists, invaders and murderers altogether. It’s widely believed that the Mandate of Mesopotamia didn’t even check of any cultural or tribal divides, boundaries or changes whatsoever. Nice work Percy.
So, a long-held resentment of a newly created nation which allowed immigrants in to work for pittance, while enjoying the benefits of oil wealth was not seen as a friend of the Arab world generally, a sense of being “in bed with the West – for shitloads of cash” might have been the dominant thinking.
Now, couple this with the lowering of oil prices which devastated Iraq exports, sanctions and loans imposed after the Iran-Iraq war, the deliberate drilling into Iraqi soil by Kuwait and you see the bigger picture – it wasn’t simply “Saddam is a madman, and we, the US, have a responsibility to protect the innocent Kuwait” – was it fuck.
Despite having one of the biggest non-natural oil reserves ever imagined in the history of the planet, the US needs to keep that black stuff pouring in. Iraq dominating the Gulf region would put a significant dent in US relations in the area, and a steep rise in crude prices would be expected. So, by dressing the conflict up as a Fairy Tale, in which the honourable warrior strides in to save an innocent victim from a tyrant, suited the situation perfectly. We’ll see a similar situation develop in Iran within the next 5 years, give or take 10 years. Or 15. It depends when they can justify it really. But history dictates it has to happen.
Why Iran?
It’s not their oil, per se. It’s the influence that this major Arab nation will have on neighbouring nations in years to come that scares the pants off the US Administration. Islamic fundamentalism and Arab Nationalism will all serve to strengthen the region, and a strong region makes its own decisions. The US will not let this happen. Indeed, they cannot let this happen if they’re to play the World Police and moral guardians of all that is true and holy (and oily and rich).
The formation of an Arab State, based on race rather than religion or nationality, which is the desire of extreme arab nationalists, would mean a nation more powerful than the US have ever imagined. Not powerful militarily, not for a long time, but they don’t have to be. In terms of oil control, it’s a massive boogeyman in the US closet.
Thus, the need to paint Iran as the next “Madman” on the US hit-list is important. Iraq has been dealt with, some other “rogue states” as they like to call them are too engaged with their internal conflicts to look outside the immediate, which suits the US just fine, so the strongest, and arguably most radical and potentially incendiary state is the one they’ll target.
Saddam was a dickhead, a murderer, a power-crazed mustachio-cartoon character who brutalised and tortured thousands. Yet, the reasons for an Iraq invasion (both of them!) are so clear. It wasn’t pity for the innocent Iraqi population, it wasn’t the threat of nuclear weapons, or WMDs, whatever they are, it was simply the need to disrupt the region in order to keep eyes elsewhere. Keep Iraq in a constant state of civil unrest, keep your thumbs firmly in the politics of the state, stop any threat of unification in the Arab world, appoint who you want to rule the state and your interests are secure. Now who’s next?
Iran.
Unlucky, Mahmoud. That’ll teach you not to tow the Yankee-Isreali-love-line.
Or look like a Roy Keane/Jose Mourinho Hybrid Sex Robot.
Or to pursue nuclear power as a means to bettering his people. We’ll all accept Nuclear power when the oil runs out by the way, we can be certain of that, so what’s the big shitstorm?
Who wants to be the first generation to go against the grain and not make billions from oil exploitation and war-mongering?
There’s too much money in oil to look beyond its finite nature, and once it does run out, the US will still have billions of barrels left.
And THEN they can rule the world.
Subject – Urgent
Igor Mohammed – mostgood87@yahoo.com
Dear Sir,
I represent a top company executive in Russia. My name is Igor Mohammed and I am the Personal Accountant to the organization I have a very sensitive and private offer from this top executive to ask for your partnership to re-profile some offshore investment funds worth over Two Hundred Million United States Dollars. I am constrained however to with old most of the details for now. But in summary the invested funds are in a bank in Europe, we need to terminate this investments and re-profile the funds over to you for certain reasons. This is due to the major shake ups and on going economic re-structuring policy in Russia presently. Read More
Of course he could.
Why am I concerned about this???? I’m not sure really. I think it’s because the burden of proof shifts so unnaturally where celebrity is involved, and that pisses me off.
An age old game of cat and mouse, liar vs demi-god.
Does anyone really give a shit? Is it so unlikely that this innocent, yet clearly corruptable, wee floppy haired dancer just fancied his go in the jacks while his minders were in the dressing room tapping some fine young things themselves?
No, it’s not hugely unlikely.
The vociferous outcry from his millions of adoring fans simply defies belief. HE’S 17 YEARS OLD!!!! Of course he fancies a go!! I can understand someone defending him, but to completely disregard the notion that…..
a) He has a fully functioning penis
b) He may be prone to an occasional “slip of the penis”
…..is a little blinkered.
These are facts (some preceded with “probably”, and therefore maybe not facts – in fact, probably just lies):
1: He probably doesn’t even get enough “me time” to, eh, you know…..
2: His “relationship” with that other poor girl, whatever her name is, who’ll never have a normal life having been exposed to the cruelties of celebrity way too early, is under so much scrutiny that they too probably never get any time together of any real value (I mean sex).
3: If you’re famous, girls will throw themselves at you. Just ask Ryan Tubridy.
4: If girls throw themselves at you, and you’re 17, chances are one of them will slip through your safety net. Eventually. Possibly immediately.
5: He was probably locked drunk.
I don’t assume this girl (Yeater?) is telling the truth however – how many millions of similar “ladies” dream of having a Bieber baby (without much knowledge of what it involves). Out of 14 million, you’re certain to get at least 20 malicious bitches.
But it could have happened.
To draw a footballing comparison, Luis Suarez was accused of making racist remarks (repeatedly!) to Patrice Evra. Fans of both sides leapt, on the whole, to the defence of their hero.
Liverpool fans listed Evra’s previous unjustified use of the race-card, while Man U fans labelled Suarez a “biting racist diving rat”, of which at least three insults are untrue.
The difference between the two issues (besides football being interesting, important and worthwhile) is that both Man U and Liverpool have a massive fan base.
Nobody supports Ms Yeater. She doesn’t have millions of followers on the Tweet-Book Machine. She doesn’t make “music”. She doesn’t have adorable floppy hair.
If this is a case of her one shot of fame, an attempt to extort a few million from a lad who clearly had more than enough money already, then may she burn in hell.
If this is true, however, I hope and pray Bieber’s millions don’t simply make the issue disappear, leaving him free to continue dissolving children’s minds with his pointless and painful money-making pop machine. If he put his little wee-wee in a compromising position, did the job, legged it – then may he either man up and deal with it like a man should, or may he also burn in hell.
I wonder if we’ll ever know the truth. I wonder if Bieber will ever officially have sex.
I wonder if I’ll ever give a shit.
If ever a man needed a hug, this was that man, and last night was that time.
Pat Kenny, for once, did not induce stomach crippling cringe-attacks, and actually kept the discussion going well, pulling no punches and defending the audience’s questions near the end, as Grey Mitchell popped his top.
But back to Wee Seanie – never has a man squirmed so much on live television. If it were pre-recorded, they’d have cut and gone again. His choice of words when “defending” his actions were also unfortunate. For one of such distinguished FF valour, envelopes should forever be on his blacklist. “No recollection” similarly outcast. He showed, for the first time in this campaign, a distinct lack of comfort under severe questioning, the likes of which McGuinness and Higgins can handle.
I never honestly thought Gallagher would make a good President (although we may still find out).
McGuinness and Paisley have had many slumber parties, with McGuinness now 11 – 6 ahead in their Pro Evo 2011 marathon.
Initially, I thought my vote would lie with either Norris or McGuinness. As it stands, I’m still undecided, but certainly Norris has been replaced by Higgins in my thinking. He’s showed decorum, class, nobility and is certainly the most articulate of the candidates after Norris. But he’s so old, they say. So what. We all will be someday.
McGuinness has also popped back into my reckoning after last nights fireworks. His well planned ambush of Wee Seanie made for fantastic TV, and Gallagher took his bait at every instance. Well played Sir.
Still, I don’t know how to arrange my 1-2, and there’s no TV debates left.
Might be time to actually read something.
Shit.
Being 100% apolitical, my decisions on who should be our next President are based solely on gut instinct, and have absolutely nothing to do with politics, parties or manifestos of any variety.
I think the President should be an ideological position, and so my choices are currently limited to the only two candidates I feel have enough character, charisma or conviction to do the job justice.
Granted, I’m an idiot when it comes to decisions which should be well thought out, logical and future-proof, but unfortunately for Ireland, my vote still counts. And, unlike previous Presidential elections, I’ll probably use mine on this occasion. Read More
Allied Irish Banks, p.l.c.
Bankcentre
Ballsbridge
Dublin
Re: Internet/Phone Banking
To Who-ever it may concern,
I recently have had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with both AIB Phone Banking & AIB Internet Banking. Both matrix type facilities were unable to perform simple tasks without a plethora of cards, codes and magic tricks, much of which I had with me, but never the one designated for a specific task. One would suspect even Inspector Gadget would not be equipped well enough to deal with such intricate processes. Read More
Let’s fast forward 5 years and presume David Norris’ election went as well as we all presumed (or feared) it would. Ireland has the first openly gay president. How cool is that? Not just cool, but let’s also be honest – this whole “gay” thing will eventually become irrelevant in the overall scheme of things, nobody will care what anyone else gets up to as the older generations die off, so we’d be seen as a progressive nation, eradicating prejudice from our political halls in an attempt to make the world a better place.
Doesn’t this sound a lot better than the current stereotypes the world seems all too keen to attach to us?
I think so. Read More
8-Bit Bazooka – Classic Gaming Paddy Power PodCast
